Diamond Carnival, Sat, 10 Feb 2018 | written by Simon
Simon at a City, Sea in Brazil, South America

Wow. Just wow.
Remember how I said Brazilians are beautiful?
Beach, shorts, thong bikinis, water, chests, butts, muscles, sun, sweat, boobs, skin! Oh my gods! I think I had a sexy overload today. I can’t even. It’s. Yes. So much yes.
It seems like a good 10% of breeding age Brazilians here is not just attractive or pretty, but simply stunningly hot. And they flaunt it. They really do. The costumes, the naked chests, the bikinis… I spent a day literally surrounded by thousands of sexy bodies, trying not to stare and failing badly…
Ehm… So yes, from the beginning. I got up at 4am, but managed to fall asleep again, though only until 7 or so. Lazy morning, getting ready to spend a day between Copacabana and Ipanema beaches.
Stressed to death about thieves, I made the following preparations:
  • hid my passport, debit card, and credit card in three different places around the airbnb flat.
  • took only a small amount of cash, photocopy of my passport, and mobile.
  • hid all things I took in a tiny bum bag worn under the trousers.
  • signed out from all accounts on my mobile.
  • kept a small sum in an external pocket so in case I get mugged, I can give them something and hope they won’t look for more.

If this isn’t prepared, I don’t know what is.
I went down to town planning to first pick up my main parade ticket from the office. But I got distracted on the way by a massive Banda party in Copacabana. Two buses filled with speakers, music at club volume, crowd thousands strong in full party mode… And it’s barely 10am! Obviously, I joined in. After some dancing, I ploughed through the crowd to get to the beach and this is where it first properly hit me that I’m in perfect body land. I spent some time just sitting around, chilling and causally perving. I say chilling, but obviously it’s some 35°C. But at least there is a breeze on the beach – in the party crowd it was much worse. I went through 1.5l of water in the first two hours.
I went to pick up my ticket next, got some food, rejoined the party, went back to the beach… Soon people started moving as at 4pm another party was meant to start in Ipanema. I joined the crowd and found a neat shady spot under a tree. It’s so hot that even in the shade I’m drenched in sweat. Ipanema was packed, must have easily been 200k bodies there. I started chatting with some people around me, who decided that I’m Jesus, and a gringo, obviously. But they also fed me beer and some other drinks. Great crowd, none spoke much English, but now I know how to say ‘I like pussy’ in Portuguese, and some other useful phrases.
They went off at some point, one girl left me her number, so might get in touch later. I spent some more time hanging out and decided to go back home. I’m horribly underslept, and was planning to party until late tomorrow and Monday, so better catch up on rest now.

I should add that I actually felt pretty safe all day today. I’m sure the precautions are useful, but I feel I don’t need to worry as much after all.